What is Marriage?
A. The Main Goal of Marriage Is To Help One Another Serve God.( that simple)
B. Marriage Is for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 - Woman was created because it was not good for man to be alone and because animals were not suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex with them is wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man. [Proverbs 18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a companion with whom the man has entered into the marriage covenant. [Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and wife are both TOLD to love one another.
When man and wife are in proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they fulfill one of the strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody should marry until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as great as they care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if your hungry maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on on
C. Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 - Children should be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes man and woman one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents have a duty, in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the world [Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family, can produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral to bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have given them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care arrangements or government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in a family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them. Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 - Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs, paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1 Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage 1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel) 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
A. The Main Goal of Marriage Is To Help One Another Serve God.( that simple)
B. Marriage Is for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 - Woman was created because it was not good for man to be alone and because animals were not suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex with them is wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man. [Proverbs 18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a companion with whom the man has entered into the marriage covenant. [Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and wife are both TOLD to love one another.
When man and wife are in proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they fulfill one of the strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody should marry until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as great as they care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if your hungry maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on on
C. Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 - Children should be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes man and woman one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents have a duty, in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the world [Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family, can produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral to bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have given them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care arrangements or government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in a family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them. Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 - Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs, paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1 Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage 1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel) 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
B. Marriage Is for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 - Woman was created because it was not good for man to be alone and because animals were not suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex with them is wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man. [Proverbs 18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a companion with whom the man has entered into the marriage covenant. [Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and wife are both TOLD to love one another.
When man and wife are in proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they fulfill one of the strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody should marry until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as great as they care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if your hungry maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on on
C. Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 - Children should be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes man and woman one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents have a duty, in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the world [Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family, can produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral to bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have given them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care arrangements or government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in a family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them. Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 - Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs, paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1 Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage 1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel) 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
A. The Main Goal of Marriage Is To Help One Another Serve God.( that simple)
B. Marriage Is for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 - Woman was created because it was not good for man to be alone and because animals were not suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex with them is wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man. [Proverbs 18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a companion with whom the man has entered into the marriage covenant. [Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and wife are both TOLD to love one another.
When man and wife are in proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they fulfill one of the strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody should marry until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as great as they care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if your hungry maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on on
C. Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 - Children should be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes man and woman one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents have a duty, in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the world [Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family, can produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral to bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have given them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care arrangements or government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in a family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them. Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 - Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs, paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1 Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage 1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel) 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Mans Role in Marriage
Ten comandment for husbands.
(Is this scripture? yes but in a funny way)
Genesis 3:16, says in part "her desire shall be to man".
Then Eph. 5:23,
"husband is head of the wife";
then I Tim. 2:11-12,
"She shall have no dominion over a man".
Now don't stop at these verses and think that the only responsibility of the husband is to be HEAD of the house. Head does not mean master as in a master-slave relationship, nor does it mean a relationship like a general to a private in the army. It is more like a partnership where one is the leader, guide, director. Now consider this. Can you think of any decision that a husband should make WITHOUT consulting or considering his wife and her wishes? I cant(can you really buy a new house or car or a TV for that matter wothout disscussing it)
Now let us consider some other responsibilities.
1. The husband is to love his wife above all other human beings. Consider Eph. 5:25 and 28; and Col. 3:19. These passages teach that the husband is to be considerate and tender.
The verses in Ephesians 5 teach that the husband is to cherish his wife. This means that she is to be treated with tenderness and affection. This would mean that since love must be fed, there is to be a warm demonstrative love relationship. The husband has the responsibility of not only demonstrating his love and concern, but telling her.
He should not sit in such self-absorption that he does not talk with her and communicate with her socially, mentally, verbally and physically. The husband will demonstrate his love for his wife in other ways, rather than just at the time of sexual relationship. If this is the only time that affection and consideration is shown, then a wife will get the idea that all a husband is interested in is her body and that she is merely a sex object.
2. I Peter 3:7, teaches that the husband is to honor his wife. She gave up her name to take yours. Honor means that you should show her respect and this involves courtesy, consideration and emotional support. Be sure that as her husband that you do not hold her up to ridicule in public by the cutting remarks that you make.( dont air dirty laundry or put her down like that) She wears YOUR name and is to viewed as part of your body. She is not perfect and you are aware of this. Do not expect perfection, but as Ephesians 4:32 teaches, "forbear one another". This means to be gentle toward her. Control of temper, abstaining from physical violence and restraining a sharp tongue that makes one feel so inferior - are ways by which you can exhibit forbearance.
3. Paul presents another responsibility of husbands in I Timothy 5:8 - "But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel". Marriage is a financial venture and the husband has a responsibility to finance or support or provide for his family. This is talking about money. As a husband, your earnings are not your own but belong to your wife as well and your children. ( so no secret accounts and stealing money from the house stash)
4. Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers provoke not your children to wrath", and again in Colossians 3:21, "Fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged". The husband therefore does not leave all the discipline up to his wife, but shares in the molding and direction of your children. ( she is your life partner)
It is not a proper division of responsibility to say that as the husband I will provide the living and the wife is to take care of the house and children. The husband has duties even after his days work is done by which lie is earning a living to support his family
The Christian father should set an example for his family as he earns a living, directs the household with concern for each member, and as he fulfills his role as head of the house. He should see to their spiritual development by the life he lives and the direction in which he leads his family.
A woman responds to what she receives. If she receives irritability, criticism, disapproval, unkindness, indifference, lack of appreciation, or lack of affection, she will respond with a defense mechanism, such as bitterness, coolness, defiance, or nagging. Some women turn to drinking or submerge themselves in social activities.
“If she’d only quit nagging, I could love her more.” If that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, then you have it backwards! The husband must take the initiative.
The Husband Should Be Committed to Marriage for Life. Multitudes of marriages in our society end in divorce. Consider the Bible teaching.
Romans 7:2,3 -- Husband and wife are bound as long as they both live. One may remarry only when his spouse has died. To remarry while ones spouse is alive constitutes adultery. (Mal. 2:14-16)
Matthew 19:3-9 -- Fornication is the only Scriptural grounds for divorce. One is guilty of adultery if he divorces for another reason and remarries. This constitutes adultery because he is still bound to his first wife, yet having the sexual union with another woman. (Matt. 5:31,32)
Man should enter marriage fully realizing that it is a lifetime commitment. Divorce without Scriptural grounds should never be seriously considered nor discussed as an option. However, if one is in an unscriptural remarriage, he must leave it to avoid adultery (cf. 1 Cor. 7:10,11).
The Husband Should Work to Provide for the Physical Needs of the Family.
Many men leave their wives and children without the necessities of life because they quit their jobs for frivolous reasons or waste their income selfishly.
Genesis 3:17-19 -- The man was required to labor despite hardships in order to have food. (Cf. 2 Thess. 3:10.)
1 Timothy 5:8 -- As the head of the family (see next point), a man should provide, not just for himself, but for his whole household. The Bible gives many examples of men having occupations or businesses outside the home. Many Bible examples show men employed away from the home in such occupations as shepherd, carpenter, physician, fisherman, merchant, farmer, sailor, preacher, tentmaker, etc. (See also Eph. 5:28,29).
This is the God-given duty of the husband. NO NO NO NO passage instructs the wife to do this. Man should not neglect his other responsibilities by over-emphasizing work. Yet one who neglects working, expecting his wife or other people to provide income for his family, is worse than an infidel.
The Husband Should Be the Head of the Family.
Some claim that man should not exercise authority over his wife or that his authority should be limited to just certain areas. In practice, women are often the leaders in making family decisions. But note:
Ephesians 5:22-24 -- The husband is head of his wife as Christ is head of the church (see other verses below). Neither his wife nor their parents are the authority in his family (cf. Gen. 2:24). (this means the Inlaws have no say in what goes on in your marriage and you shouldnt be running and telling them all yourt gossiop of your spouce that is for yall to work out, Not play the blame game)
Love will lead a husband to consider the needs and desires of the wife and children. He will make decisions for the good of the whole group, not just to please himself. This requires discussion at times to understand the views of others.
However, the husband does have the final authority, and will give account to God for his decisions.
Often this responsibility is not a privilege but a burden. He needs the courage to stand for what he is convinced is best, even when the wife or children disagree.
If the wife fails to fulfill her duties, this does not justify the husband in failing to fulfill his duties (Romans 12:17-21; Luke 6:27-35).
(Is this scripture? yes but in a funny way)
- Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as thy equal. (1 Pet 3:7)
- Thy highest allegiance, except God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives or friends. (Gen 2:24)
- Thou shalt frequently tell thy wife how important & valuable she is to thee. (Phil 2:3; Prov 31:10-11)
- Thou shalt hold thy wife's love by the same means that thou won it. (Sos 5:10-16)
- Thou shalt actively establish family discipline with thy wife's help. (Eph 6:4)
- Remember to do all the little things for thy wife when you say you will. (Mt 5:37)
- Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbors. (Prov 5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jer 5:8)
- Thou shalt make every effort to see things from thy wife's point of view. (Gen 21:12)
- Thou shalt not fail to kiss thy wife every morning. (Sos 8:1)
- Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money. (Esther 5:3)
Genesis 3:16, says in part "her desire shall be to man".
Then Eph. 5:23,
"husband is head of the wife";
then I Tim. 2:11-12,
"She shall have no dominion over a man".
Now don't stop at these verses and think that the only responsibility of the husband is to be HEAD of the house. Head does not mean master as in a master-slave relationship, nor does it mean a relationship like a general to a private in the army. It is more like a partnership where one is the leader, guide, director. Now consider this. Can you think of any decision that a husband should make WITHOUT consulting or considering his wife and her wishes? I cant(can you really buy a new house or car or a TV for that matter wothout disscussing it)
Now let us consider some other responsibilities.
1. The husband is to love his wife above all other human beings. Consider Eph. 5:25 and 28; and Col. 3:19. These passages teach that the husband is to be considerate and tender.
The verses in Ephesians 5 teach that the husband is to cherish his wife. This means that she is to be treated with tenderness and affection. This would mean that since love must be fed, there is to be a warm demonstrative love relationship. The husband has the responsibility of not only demonstrating his love and concern, but telling her.
He should not sit in such self-absorption that he does not talk with her and communicate with her socially, mentally, verbally and physically. The husband will demonstrate his love for his wife in other ways, rather than just at the time of sexual relationship. If this is the only time that affection and consideration is shown, then a wife will get the idea that all a husband is interested in is her body and that she is merely a sex object.
2. I Peter 3:7, teaches that the husband is to honor his wife. She gave up her name to take yours. Honor means that you should show her respect and this involves courtesy, consideration and emotional support. Be sure that as her husband that you do not hold her up to ridicule in public by the cutting remarks that you make.( dont air dirty laundry or put her down like that) She wears YOUR name and is to viewed as part of your body. She is not perfect and you are aware of this. Do not expect perfection, but as Ephesians 4:32 teaches, "forbear one another". This means to be gentle toward her. Control of temper, abstaining from physical violence and restraining a sharp tongue that makes one feel so inferior - are ways by which you can exhibit forbearance.
3. Paul presents another responsibility of husbands in I Timothy 5:8 - "But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel". Marriage is a financial venture and the husband has a responsibility to finance or support or provide for his family. This is talking about money. As a husband, your earnings are not your own but belong to your wife as well and your children. ( so no secret accounts and stealing money from the house stash)
4. Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers provoke not your children to wrath", and again in Colossians 3:21, "Fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged". The husband therefore does not leave all the discipline up to his wife, but shares in the molding and direction of your children. ( she is your life partner)
It is not a proper division of responsibility to say that as the husband I will provide the living and the wife is to take care of the house and children. The husband has duties even after his days work is done by which lie is earning a living to support his family
The Christian father should set an example for his family as he earns a living, directs the household with concern for each member, and as he fulfills his role as head of the house. He should see to their spiritual development by the life he lives and the direction in which he leads his family.
A woman responds to what she receives. If she receives irritability, criticism, disapproval, unkindness, indifference, lack of appreciation, or lack of affection, she will respond with a defense mechanism, such as bitterness, coolness, defiance, or nagging. Some women turn to drinking or submerge themselves in social activities.
“If she’d only quit nagging, I could love her more.” If that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, then you have it backwards! The husband must take the initiative.
The Husband Should Be Committed to Marriage for Life. Multitudes of marriages in our society end in divorce. Consider the Bible teaching.
Romans 7:2,3 -- Husband and wife are bound as long as they both live. One may remarry only when his spouse has died. To remarry while ones spouse is alive constitutes adultery. (Mal. 2:14-16)
Matthew 19:3-9 -- Fornication is the only Scriptural grounds for divorce. One is guilty of adultery if he divorces for another reason and remarries. This constitutes adultery because he is still bound to his first wife, yet having the sexual union with another woman. (Matt. 5:31,32)
Man should enter marriage fully realizing that it is a lifetime commitment. Divorce without Scriptural grounds should never be seriously considered nor discussed as an option. However, if one is in an unscriptural remarriage, he must leave it to avoid adultery (cf. 1 Cor. 7:10,11).
The Husband Should Work to Provide for the Physical Needs of the Family.
Many men leave their wives and children without the necessities of life because they quit their jobs for frivolous reasons or waste their income selfishly.
Genesis 3:17-19 -- The man was required to labor despite hardships in order to have food. (Cf. 2 Thess. 3:10.)
1 Timothy 5:8 -- As the head of the family (see next point), a man should provide, not just for himself, but for his whole household. The Bible gives many examples of men having occupations or businesses outside the home. Many Bible examples show men employed away from the home in such occupations as shepherd, carpenter, physician, fisherman, merchant, farmer, sailor, preacher, tentmaker, etc. (See also Eph. 5:28,29).
This is the God-given duty of the husband. NO NO NO NO passage instructs the wife to do this. Man should not neglect his other responsibilities by over-emphasizing work. Yet one who neglects working, expecting his wife or other people to provide income for his family, is worse than an infidel.
The Husband Should Be the Head of the Family.
Some claim that man should not exercise authority over his wife or that his authority should be limited to just certain areas. In practice, women are often the leaders in making family decisions. But note:
Ephesians 5:22-24 -- The husband is head of his wife as Christ is head of the church (see other verses below). Neither his wife nor their parents are the authority in his family (cf. Gen. 2:24). (this means the Inlaws have no say in what goes on in your marriage and you shouldnt be running and telling them all yourt gossiop of your spouce that is for yall to work out, Not play the blame game)
Love will lead a husband to consider the needs and desires of the wife and children. He will make decisions for the good of the whole group, not just to please himself. This requires discussion at times to understand the views of others.
However, the husband does have the final authority, and will give account to God for his decisions.
Often this responsibility is not a privilege but a burden. He needs the courage to stand for what he is convinced is best, even when the wife or children disagree.
If the wife fails to fulfill her duties, this does not justify the husband in failing to fulfill his duties (Romans 12:17-21; Luke 6:27-35).
Womans Role in Marriage
Ok so well start with the women folk casue htey seem to be gettin restless.
1 Titus 2:3-5 said "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."(ever heard of hunters and gathers? it is said here. Older women have an obligation to teach the youth skills to help in life and marriage NOT gossip and drama)
The woman is to be home oriented. this is not a minor role,this is THE major role.( But can we do this in todays society? No its real hard if you try casue of the ACLU and Bra burning and womens lib and lilith fair things like that. Now you are expected to both work and keep up with the Jonses. how many kids suffer casue of going to day care at 6 weeks old being raised by strangers paid minimum wage? Ever worked at home? i have and it aint easy yet women look down at house wife roles as if they have sold out..) Paul said the woman to build home and the man provide for the home through the participation of the marketplace.
(as a man it hard to find a job that pays for a family to live on, but this is his role)
In today's society once again, the home is viewed very lowly. It is seen as a place to sleep and eat so you can go back to work. Caring for a home is hard work, just as hard as going to the office, and satisfying, just as satisfying as being promoted.
A woman is by nature caring. Look at jobs that require high amount care, like nurses and counselors, isn't the majority women? Women just care more than man. They are more sensitive and more capable of compassionite love.
This is because women are made to be men's helpers. Genesis 2:20-22 said, "So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man."
Helpers is again not a diminishing role. The Holy Spirit is described in the bible as our helper.
(how important is that book to life)
"Modern" women is always thinking, why should I be helper? I want to be the leader or equal. I want to be independent. This is a distorted view. it is often called the Jezebel Spirit. The leader needs the helper and so does the helper need the leader. Women think this way today because they are taught pride is the highest virtue. Your self-esteem is the most important thing in the world.
But the bible preaches humility is the highest virtue and love is the most important thing in the world.
(so we gotta get the world outta our head)
A man NEEDs his wife to be dependent on him. It is needed for a man to feel important. This has nothing to do with self-esteem. That just a man. Just like a woman needs her husband to love her. That is her. We are all made to be dependent on each other and as a community.
Instead of commanding respect, God commands treating with respect. To honor means to treat with respect. If the wife wants to obey God, please Him, and show God that she loves Him, she will treat her husband with respect, even if she is unable to respect him as a person, or respect his judgment. (same for the man) Too often, when "two become one," there is a power-struggle to determine which "one" they will become. Will they become him? Or her? ( tis is like -names and men taking womens names in marriage) Instead of a selfish and prideful fight for power, they should become "one" in their desire to please GOD, in their desire to serve Him, in their desire to fulfill their respective roles in marriage, and in their desire to help each other become more and more Christ-like.
This does not mean that the wife cannot assist in supporting the family—Proverbs 31 demonstrates that a godly wife may surely do so—but providing for the family is not primarily her responsibility; it is her husband’s. While a husband should help with the children and with household chores (thereby fulfilling his duty to love his wife), Proverbs 31 also makes it clear that the home is to be the woman’s primary area of influence and responsibility. Even if she must stay up late and rise up early, her family is well cared for. This is not an easy lifestyle for many women—especially in affluent Western nations. However, far too many women are stressed out and stretched to the breaking point. To prevent such stress, both husband and wife should prayerfully reorder their priorities and follow the Bible’s instructions on their roles.
The woman is a responder. This is the obvious role of someone who depends on another person. Flowers depend on sunshine and rain; when they get it, they respond by blossoming into gorgeous beauty. This is how God made a woman too. She responds to what she receives. If she receives irritability, criticism, disapproval, unkindness, indifference, lack of appreciation, or lack of affection, she will respond with a defense mechanism, such as bitterness, coolness, defiance, or nagging. Some women turn to drinking or submerge themselves in social activities.
Love will also involve helping. Most wives work hard, maybe even harder than their husbands, and no husband ought to be above helping with the housework and the children. If the wife is really the weaker vessel, then wiping the dishes, sweeping the floor, supervising the children, cleaning the windows, or dozens of other little helpful acts are just other ways of saying, “I love you.”
The Wife Too Should Have a Lifetime Commitment to the Marriage. Neither the man nor the woman have the right to end the marriage while their spouse is alive, except for the cause of fornication.
The Wife Should Love Her Husband. Modern feminists say a woman does not need a man but should find fulfillment outside marriage.
Genesis 2:18-24 -- Woman was created to be a companion and helper to man. She is not required to marry (see 1 Cor. 7), but by nature she would find her greatest fulfillment in life by loving and caring for a family. (See also Mal. 2:14.)( i know divorced women who long for this again, the smells and touch and jsut the feeling you get froma complete home.)
Titus 2:4 -- Young women should be taught to love their husbands and their children. This is something a woman can learn to do. Again, love is a matter of choice and commitment, not primarily a romantic mood.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 -- The wife too should show affection and fulfill her husband's sexual needs.
Now time for the worst part:The Wife Should Submit to the Headship of the Husband. We have learned that God teaches husbands to use their authority in love. Though our society may protest and rebel, He also tells wives to submit to their husbands.
Ephesians 5:22-24,33 -- Just as the church should submit to Christ, not rebelliously but respectfully, so the wife must abide by all her husband's decisions.
The only exception would be if the husband commanded her to do something that would violate God's law (Acts 5:29).
( but from what we have read we see that men are to love wives as Christ loved the church, now does that seemover bearig?
1 Titus 2:3-5 said "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."(ever heard of hunters and gathers? it is said here. Older women have an obligation to teach the youth skills to help in life and marriage NOT gossip and drama)
The woman is to be home oriented. this is not a minor role,this is THE major role.( But can we do this in todays society? No its real hard if you try casue of the ACLU and Bra burning and womens lib and lilith fair things like that. Now you are expected to both work and keep up with the Jonses. how many kids suffer casue of going to day care at 6 weeks old being raised by strangers paid minimum wage? Ever worked at home? i have and it aint easy yet women look down at house wife roles as if they have sold out..) Paul said the woman to build home and the man provide for the home through the participation of the marketplace.
(as a man it hard to find a job that pays for a family to live on, but this is his role)
In today's society once again, the home is viewed very lowly. It is seen as a place to sleep and eat so you can go back to work. Caring for a home is hard work, just as hard as going to the office, and satisfying, just as satisfying as being promoted.
A woman is by nature caring. Look at jobs that require high amount care, like nurses and counselors, isn't the majority women? Women just care more than man. They are more sensitive and more capable of compassionite love.
This is because women are made to be men's helpers. Genesis 2:20-22 said, "So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man."
Helpers is again not a diminishing role. The Holy Spirit is described in the bible as our helper.
(how important is that book to life)
"Modern" women is always thinking, why should I be helper? I want to be the leader or equal. I want to be independent. This is a distorted view. it is often called the Jezebel Spirit. The leader needs the helper and so does the helper need the leader. Women think this way today because they are taught pride is the highest virtue. Your self-esteem is the most important thing in the world.
But the bible preaches humility is the highest virtue and love is the most important thing in the world.
(so we gotta get the world outta our head)
A man NEEDs his wife to be dependent on him. It is needed for a man to feel important. This has nothing to do with self-esteem. That just a man. Just like a woman needs her husband to love her. That is her. We are all made to be dependent on each other and as a community.
Instead of commanding respect, God commands treating with respect. To honor means to treat with respect. If the wife wants to obey God, please Him, and show God that she loves Him, she will treat her husband with respect, even if she is unable to respect him as a person, or respect his judgment. (same for the man) Too often, when "two become one," there is a power-struggle to determine which "one" they will become. Will they become him? Or her? ( tis is like -names and men taking womens names in marriage) Instead of a selfish and prideful fight for power, they should become "one" in their desire to please GOD, in their desire to serve Him, in their desire to fulfill their respective roles in marriage, and in their desire to help each other become more and more Christ-like.
This does not mean that the wife cannot assist in supporting the family—Proverbs 31 demonstrates that a godly wife may surely do so—but providing for the family is not primarily her responsibility; it is her husband’s. While a husband should help with the children and with household chores (thereby fulfilling his duty to love his wife), Proverbs 31 also makes it clear that the home is to be the woman’s primary area of influence and responsibility. Even if she must stay up late and rise up early, her family is well cared for. This is not an easy lifestyle for many women—especially in affluent Western nations. However, far too many women are stressed out and stretched to the breaking point. To prevent such stress, both husband and wife should prayerfully reorder their priorities and follow the Bible’s instructions on their roles.
The woman is a responder. This is the obvious role of someone who depends on another person. Flowers depend on sunshine and rain; when they get it, they respond by blossoming into gorgeous beauty. This is how God made a woman too. She responds to what she receives. If she receives irritability, criticism, disapproval, unkindness, indifference, lack of appreciation, or lack of affection, she will respond with a defense mechanism, such as bitterness, coolness, defiance, or nagging. Some women turn to drinking or submerge themselves in social activities.
Love will also involve helping. Most wives work hard, maybe even harder than their husbands, and no husband ought to be above helping with the housework and the children. If the wife is really the weaker vessel, then wiping the dishes, sweeping the floor, supervising the children, cleaning the windows, or dozens of other little helpful acts are just other ways of saying, “I love you.”
The Wife Too Should Have a Lifetime Commitment to the Marriage. Neither the man nor the woman have the right to end the marriage while their spouse is alive, except for the cause of fornication.
The Wife Should Love Her Husband. Modern feminists say a woman does not need a man but should find fulfillment outside marriage.
Genesis 2:18-24 -- Woman was created to be a companion and helper to man. She is not required to marry (see 1 Cor. 7), but by nature she would find her greatest fulfillment in life by loving and caring for a family. (See also Mal. 2:14.)( i know divorced women who long for this again, the smells and touch and jsut the feeling you get froma complete home.)
Titus 2:4 -- Young women should be taught to love their husbands and their children. This is something a woman can learn to do. Again, love is a matter of choice and commitment, not primarily a romantic mood.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 -- The wife too should show affection and fulfill her husband's sexual needs.
Now time for the worst part:The Wife Should Submit to the Headship of the Husband. We have learned that God teaches husbands to use their authority in love. Though our society may protest and rebel, He also tells wives to submit to their husbands.
Ephesians 5:22-24,33 -- Just as the church should submit to Christ, not rebelliously but respectfully, so the wife must abide by all her husband's decisions.
The only exception would be if the husband commanded her to do something that would violate God's law (Acts 5:29).
( but from what we have read we see that men are to love wives as Christ loved the church, now does that seemover bearig?
Is Flirting While Married Really Wrong?
Flirting
Defined as: to show superficial or casual interest or liking
What are people are usually trying to accomplish when they flirt. Are they trying to get attention from others? Are they attempting to show sexual interest or attraction? Do they see it as “innocent fun,” even if they or the other person is involved with someone else, even married?
Although flirting is almost always described as “harmless,” it rarely, if ever, actually is. The first thing to consider is what people generally think about those who flirt. A woman who flirts, for example, will develop a reputation as being promiscuous. She will find that other women look at her as a threat and take an instant disliking to her. A man who flirts will be viewed as a womanizer who is not interested in serious relationships. Anyone who flirts may enjoy the attention, but the interest shown to that person is almost exclusively sexual and will probably lack any sense of respect.
The Bible tells us that we are to be a good example, showing others the love of Christ through our behavior (Ephesians 5:1-2). It is possible that a man or woman who is being flirted with has been struggling with lustful thoughts themselves. When a person of the opposite sex is hanging on them, winking at them, touching them, or showing off their body to them, it will make the person's struggle all the more difficult. The Bible strongly warns us against tempting others to sin (Matthew 18:7).
Even if you don’t think flirting is wrong, you’ve got to acknowledge the danger connected with it.
Avoid flirting if you fall in any of the following categories:
If one party to the flirting is married (or both parties, but not married to each other), then the Bible may have something to say about that. Genesis 2:24 (quoted in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7) indicates that marriage puts all others "off limits."
Because of this, if a spouse objects to the other flirting with anyone else, that would make it wrong. Its even considered wrong if the flirting goes on even with the other spouse's approval. Since flirting is a form of sexual play, flirting with someone other than your spouse is considered wrong.
Betraying Your Partner's Trust
When you're in a relationship, you sign up to be faithful to your Spouse. And while faithfulness is something that should happen on both your Spouse's terms and your own, the idea of commitment implies that you won't cross the boundary lines set by your vows. If you were to act according to your Spouse's standards, knowing when you're simply flirting or outright cheating should be easy – the lines have been drawn and you know where they lie. But there are always some gray areas…relations that seem harmless, but can easily toe the line into cheating. So for a guideline, flirting is generally toeing the line into cheating (or outright stepping over it) when:
• You become emotionally attached to the object of your flirtation to the point where you prefer their company to your Spouse's
• You go out with the intention of finding somebody to flirt – or cheat – with. Whether you find them or not.
• When you advertise yourself as available when you're not because you're interested in somebody.
• You let physical contact become overtly sexual.
• You fall in lust with somebody else.
In some relationships, according to the World, all of the above behaviors would be acceptable, as long as they don't lead to sexual intercourse. In others, any one of them could be enough to destroy the relationship.
U mean i cant even play at work?
One popular opinion that many Americans hold is that if there is "no direct sexual intercourse, then it's not adultery." To society it's acceptable to grab, grope, touch, look, leer, kiss—virtually anything, as long as you don't "do it."
Phone sex and cyber-sex are fine alternatives according to this group. After all, you're not "really" doing anything, so it's not adultery, right?
Wrong.
In fact, you can even commit adultery with someone without their knowledge.
In Matthew 5:26-27, Jesus stated it plainly:
"You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
(By the way, ladies, this applies to you, too!)
From His statement in these verses, we can plainly see that Jesus understood adultery to be far more than just a physical offense. Adultery is primarily a sin of the heart. After your heart falls, the rest just follows the leader.
Quite literally, ANY activity that "connects" you—either physically, emotionally, or spiritually -- with someone in the same way that you connect with your Spouse can qualify as adultery. PERIOD
Even fantasies of adulterous activity are "over the line." You can literally commit adultery in your heart and mind without a single moment of physical contact.
Does this mean that we should never have friends of the opposite sex? No. Kersti and I both have good friends of the opposite sex, and both of us understand the fine line that we dare not cross. We have developed a very simple and straightforward policy that I encourage any married person to adopt as an operating standard:
In simple terms, if you're doing something that you wouldn't want your spouse to see, you're out of line.
That includes images on your computer screen, email messages, phone calls, and reading materials.
Any relationship, professional or personal, that you wouldn't want to fully disclose to your spouse in every detail is a problem—and perhaps a bomb waiting to explode.
So why risk it?
Defined as: to show superficial or casual interest or liking
What are people are usually trying to accomplish when they flirt. Are they trying to get attention from others? Are they attempting to show sexual interest or attraction? Do they see it as “innocent fun,” even if they or the other person is involved with someone else, even married?
Although flirting is almost always described as “harmless,” it rarely, if ever, actually is. The first thing to consider is what people generally think about those who flirt. A woman who flirts, for example, will develop a reputation as being promiscuous. She will find that other women look at her as a threat and take an instant disliking to her. A man who flirts will be viewed as a womanizer who is not interested in serious relationships. Anyone who flirts may enjoy the attention, but the interest shown to that person is almost exclusively sexual and will probably lack any sense of respect.
The Bible tells us that we are to be a good example, showing others the love of Christ through our behavior (Ephesians 5:1-2). It is possible that a man or woman who is being flirted with has been struggling with lustful thoughts themselves. When a person of the opposite sex is hanging on them, winking at them, touching them, or showing off their body to them, it will make the person's struggle all the more difficult. The Bible strongly warns us against tempting others to sin (Matthew 18:7).
Even if you don’t think flirting is wrong, you’ve got to acknowledge the danger connected with it.
Avoid flirting if you fall in any of the following categories:
- Tempted. If you know you have a real problem with keeping your thoughts pure and resisting the temptation to lust, then avoid flirting. Don’t set yourself up.
- Spoken for. You should definitely not be flirting with anyone if you are in a married relationship with someone. Marrieds are strictly off limits, period. (See Genesis 39 – story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife)
- Power-seekers. These are the ones who flirt more often than not. They crave the attention and power they feel when they flirt. There is no honor or respect for the flirtees when they are put in this type of situation.
If one party to the flirting is married (or both parties, but not married to each other), then the Bible may have something to say about that. Genesis 2:24 (quoted in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7) indicates that marriage puts all others "off limits."
Because of this, if a spouse objects to the other flirting with anyone else, that would make it wrong. Its even considered wrong if the flirting goes on even with the other spouse's approval. Since flirting is a form of sexual play, flirting with someone other than your spouse is considered wrong.
Betraying Your Partner's Trust
When you're in a relationship, you sign up to be faithful to your Spouse. And while faithfulness is something that should happen on both your Spouse's terms and your own, the idea of commitment implies that you won't cross the boundary lines set by your vows. If you were to act according to your Spouse's standards, knowing when you're simply flirting or outright cheating should be easy – the lines have been drawn and you know where they lie. But there are always some gray areas…relations that seem harmless, but can easily toe the line into cheating. So for a guideline, flirting is generally toeing the line into cheating (or outright stepping over it) when:
• You become emotionally attached to the object of your flirtation to the point where you prefer their company to your Spouse's
• You go out with the intention of finding somebody to flirt – or cheat – with. Whether you find them or not.
• When you advertise yourself as available when you're not because you're interested in somebody.
• You let physical contact become overtly sexual.
• You fall in lust with somebody else.
In some relationships, according to the World, all of the above behaviors would be acceptable, as long as they don't lead to sexual intercourse. In others, any one of them could be enough to destroy the relationship.
U mean i cant even play at work?
One popular opinion that many Americans hold is that if there is "no direct sexual intercourse, then it's not adultery." To society it's acceptable to grab, grope, touch, look, leer, kiss—virtually anything, as long as you don't "do it."
Phone sex and cyber-sex are fine alternatives according to this group. After all, you're not "really" doing anything, so it's not adultery, right?
Wrong.
In fact, you can even commit adultery with someone without their knowledge.
In Matthew 5:26-27, Jesus stated it plainly:
"You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
(By the way, ladies, this applies to you, too!)
From His statement in these verses, we can plainly see that Jesus understood adultery to be far more than just a physical offense. Adultery is primarily a sin of the heart. After your heart falls, the rest just follows the leader.
Quite literally, ANY activity that "connects" you—either physically, emotionally, or spiritually -- with someone in the same way that you connect with your Spouse can qualify as adultery. PERIOD
Even fantasies of adulterous activity are "over the line." You can literally commit adultery in your heart and mind without a single moment of physical contact.
Does this mean that we should never have friends of the opposite sex? No. Kersti and I both have good friends of the opposite sex, and both of us understand the fine line that we dare not cross. We have developed a very simple and straightforward policy that I encourage any married person to adopt as an operating standard:
In simple terms, if you're doing something that you wouldn't want your spouse to see, you're out of line.
That includes images on your computer screen, email messages, phone calls, and reading materials.
Any relationship, professional or personal, that you wouldn't want to fully disclose to your spouse in every detail is a problem—and perhaps a bomb waiting to explode.
So why risk it?